The road to successful leadership and employee performance requires compassion and wisdom.
I know for many businesses (and people), they would rather forget about the past 3(ish) years and just push on to bigger and brighter futures, and I don’t blame them. The idea of treating the pandemic / post-pandemic like a Marvel movie where we could just simply forget about the blip and move onto the next blockbuster sounds wonderful. I think many people would like to treat their “discomforts” like this. Unfortunately, the reality is the pandemic has imprinted a lasting effect on the mass majority of people, and that hasn’t just simply gone away. Couple this with the new reality that is an economic downturn (layoffs, price hikes, revaluations), and sprinkle in the regular day to day stresses of human existence, and it should be easy to see that our spirit has been (is being) tested. That is why now, more than ever, it is imperative that our leaders lead with an attitude of compassion.
Compassion is the quality of having true concern and positive intention for others. It is through compassion that we hold another’s experience with tenderness and give them the space to have their experience without trying to rush it away. When compassionate leadership is practiced, it provides the space to create strong emotional connections between people; improving collaboration, raising trust levels, and strengthening loyalty. Studies have also found that leaders who demonstrate compassion are perceived as stronger and more competent in their role.
(Note: If you are a leader and, while reading the last paragraph, found yourself thinking something along the lines of, “I don’t have the time for people’s emotions”, or “emotions aren’t for the workplace”, know that the success of your business hinges on emotional connection. Humans, by nature, are hardwired for social connection and emotional resonance. When this is absent, the structures that hinge on cooperation fail.)
It would be careless for me to pretend that this is the first time society has experienced a stressful moment in time that affected the health and well-being of employees in the workplace, because that is just not the case. Though this is the first time that we as a society have had access to such an array of tools and resources that can provide us with a path to greater workplace well-being.
The good news is that many companies are adopting an outlook that places greater value on caring for employee’s well-being. The caveat is that compassion is not enough on its own. For leadership to be truly effective, compassion must be paired with wisdom (and wisdom with compassion).
For leadership to be truly effective, compassion must be paired with wisdom (and wisdom with compassion).
In this case, wisdom refers to a one’s deep understanding of leadership and people development; their ability to motivate and empower employees while also delivering on key results. The reality is, leadership is not a leisurely walk in the park. Leaders are bound to be presented with uncomfortable scenarios, tough decisions, and difficult emotions. While compassion plays a key role in navigating and succeeding with tough decisions, and it also normalizes and soothes difficult emotions through the shared connection of common humanity, it alone is not enough to lead effectively and efficiently. Wise and compassionate leadership is what is needed.
How To Cultivate Wise and Compassionate Leadership
Both wisdom and compassion are skills that you can develop. Just like a muscle, the more you practice wise and compassionate behavior, the stronger those behavior muscles will grow. One of the great findings from studies on mindfulness is that those who practice mindfulness are likely to be more self-aware, connected, and emotionally intelligent. These strengths tend to positively support a leader’s ability to be wise and compassionate. It is for this reason that the following tips all borrow from the practice of mindfulness.
Mindfulness Tips to Strengthen Compassion
If you’re looking to strengthen your compassion muscles, then the next three tips are for you.
Practice Self Compassion:
This one might sound like somewhat of a no brainer, but it is often overlooked; in order to strengthen compassion, you must start with yourself. One of the key ingredients to self-compassion is practicing proper boundaries that acknowledge your humanness and honor your energy. If you are overloaded and out of balance, it is going to be very hard for you to offer true compassion outward. In order to make sure that you are balanced, supported, and clear headed — not to mention emotionally attuned and resilient — you will want to offer yourself acts of self-compassion. There aren’t things like shopping, or a glass (or two) of wine, or bubble baths (although that might be what your body is asking for), but self-compassion focuses more on having a true attitude of wanting to ease your own discomfort.
Self-compassion often looks like letting go of the inner critic’s monologue, and offering all aspects of yourself an attitude of kind, accepting, and non-judgmental awareness. Leader or not, this is an attitude that we all should look to adopt. Being able to see and accept unhelpful behaviors without criticizing yourself will open you up to the ability to reframe the experience as one of learning rather than one of failure, embarrassment, or shame. Self-compassion in the workplace can also look like letting go of the idea that you can’t step away, and giving yourself space for a break, a bite to eat, a glass of water, a walk out into the sunshine. Research shows that taking breaks and stepping away from our work improves engagement, focus, output, and satisfaction in the workplace. When a leader practices these types of actions, they inspire their workers to do the same.
Check in With Your Intention:
This is a bit of advice I wish I learned earlier in my life. I know many people told me, but I didn’t seem to hear it. If you haven’t connected with this little bit of wisdom prior to now, I hope you allow it to set in. Ask yourself: “how do my current actions support me in getting to where I want to go?” In this scenario, if your intention is to be a more compassionate leader, then while going through your day, check in on your intention; how are your actions supporting your goal to be more compassionate?
What is your intention behind your email; your phone call; your slack message; your meeting? Have you put yourself in the shoes of the person across from you? Have you thought about their reality? Have you thought about how your current reality is shaping how you show up? If not, how are you showing up to the interaction? How are you showing up to your work?
The reality is, you’re not going to catch every action (at least, not at the beginning), and that is okay. You’re not trying to. You’re just trying to insert more moments when you are pausing to ask yourself how. Shoot, there will be times you might go to ask yourself how, and then you say, “screw it”. Even those moments are helpful, because they give you an experience to practice (self) compassion. If you are checking in with your intention throughout the day, you will be able to see how you are supporting it, and how you can support it better. Over time, your behaviors will change, and bringing awareness to your intention will become second nature.
Instill a Daily Lovingkindness or Compassion Practice:
One of the greatest compassion cultivating practices for me is the practice of lovingkindness. This practice engages in all three branches of compassion — mindfulness, kindness, and common humanity. In doing so, and by virtue of your neuroplastic brain, you are able to grow your compassion skills through this practice.
To practice lovingkindness in the workplace, first imagine someone that you deeply care about. Someone that you easily wish health, happiness, safety, and peace to. If available to you, bring to mind moments where this person has met hardships in life, and imagine yourself sending them these wishes of health, happiness, safety, and peace to them. May you be safe, be happy, be healthy, and live in peace. (If these phrases don’t work for you, feel free to create your own phrases of well wishes).
Now, with that same attitude, bring these wishes of health, happiness, safety, and peace to your workplace. When working with colleagues, employees, and even customers, see if you can see them with the same lens of common humanity that you view the person you deeply care about with. Recognize that everyone is human, and that everyone experiences hardship.
You don’t have to make a big show of the lovingkindness practice, and you don’t have to say the whishes out loud. Shoot, you don’t even have to believe them at first, so long as you say them with the intention of sending kindness and common humanity to another. Over time, the practice will strengthen your compassion muscle.
Mindfulness Tips To Strengthen Wisdom
If you’re looking to strengthen your wisdom muscles, then the next three tips are for you.
Communicate Clearly and Openly:
Transparency has been shown as a key indicator for successful leadership. When leaders are transparent, even in the times where conversations are uncomfortable, they are likely to be received as authentic, and thus trustworthy. When leaders are trustworthy, their employees are likely to show a greater engagement, output, and satisfaction.
Transparency is a two-way road, and often the more transparent a leader is, the more likely their employees are to be transparent. This doesn’t exclude being transparent about underperformance. When leaders hold back from sharing feedback on underperformance, the employees are robbed of growth and better understanding expectations.
Make no mistake, concealing feedback is not kind — it is manipulative and misleading. Clear communication is kind. It honors both parties’ energy and provides a space for discourse. The longer feedback goes unprovided, the greater the likelihood it is that a negative repercussion will arise from the lack of clarity.
Connect with People:
This is such a simple and straightforward tip, but it may be one of the easiest overlooked wise actions there is. Connect with your people. Here is an easy way to implement this practice: every day, set a goal to connect with at least one person in your workplace. The likelihood is that there will be a set of people that you connect with easier than others. That’s okay, that is just normal behavior mechanics. Though, to get the most out of this exercise, see if you can connect with as many different people as possible (and accessible) before returning back to someone for a second time. Let the interaction be direct, and without interruption. Doing so is likely to help you move out of your comfort zone and develop your communication, both with enhance your leadership wisdom.
Adopt a Mindfulness / Meditation Practice:
The final tip in growing wise leadership is to adopt a mindfulness / meditation practice. Studies have shown that many of the benefits cultivated from a mindfulness practice also strengthen leadership. Benefits such as increased emotional intelligence, resilience, clarity, and connection, as well as decreased reaction, rumination, gossip, and stress all strengthen leadership abilities and support the facilitation of wise leadership.
Whether or not there is a global pandemic, an economic down turn, political unrest, or environmental uncertainty, there are always going to be stressful times in a workplace (and in your life). There will always be a new product, a delayed release, a change of plans, a missed communication, a frustrating customer, an expectation unexplained, a ball dropped, a boundary broken. There will be traffic on the way to work, too many emails, a forgotten lunch, a botched presentation, sick days, sick kids, and unexpected news. These things are too be expected — if you are a leader, there will be uncomfortable emotions and tough conversation. The best thing you can do is meet people with in a human way, with wise compassion, and let this wise compassion lead you.