The Transformative Power of Mindful Communication in Leadership, Relationships, and the Workplace
How Mindful Are Your of Your Speech and How is it Affecting Your Relationships?
One of the "grateful frustrations" that has come from my mindfulness practice is being able to recognize the times I am not mindful of my speech.
Mindless speech are those times that you gossip or talk about others when they aren't around. Or when you use your words to fabricate a story, or stretch the truth, or when you leave bits of the story out. Or when you say yes to something you wanted to say no to, or when you say no to something you wanted to say yes to.
Yes, I am now more aware of when I'm talking nonsense, or slander, or b/s garbage. (Thanks, mindfulness). If you can't relate to those examples, then power be with you. Truly. Though, if you can relate, hi — I see you. The reality is the majority of people speak on a more mindless cadence than one that is mindful. And that doesn't mean you're less than, or dumb, or anything like that. What it more likely means is that your brain has followed the evolutionary process of doing what it has to do with what it is given so that it can navigate the terrain of your life. Basically, many of us have been brought up through a path that promotes mindless speech.
The good news is, neural plasticity. Neural plasticity refers to your brain's ability to change, reorganize, and grow new neural networks, and that means mindless speech isn't something that you are stuck with. So what takes mindless speech's place? Right (mindful) Speech.
Understanding 'Right' (Mindful) Speech
Right Speech refers to the practice of speaking with intention, awareness, and empathy.
Rooted in the Buddhism, Right Speech is one of the elements of the Buddhist Eightfold Path. This view is a guideline that asks us to aspire to never speak something that is not beneficial and only speak what is true and beneficial when the circumstances are right, whether they are welcome or not.
This practice asks that you speak with truthfully and honestly; with goodness, and to refrain from unproductive chatter. By aspiring to interact with mindful, Right Speech, it encourages meaningful, thoughtful conversations. I'm not talking about speaking 'nicely', I'm talking about communicating effectively and compassionately so as to enhance both your personal and professional relationships.
What's Wrong With Being Mindless?
I get it; sometimes we want to be mindless, put on some really bad reality tv and veg out — and I'm here for that. Though when it comes to communication, albeit an average tendency, mindless speech is not the jam. So it behooves us to change our mindless banter ways.
Ah, but what if you've made it this far as you are, and you don't want to change? It is quite common nature for us humans to not want to change our ways. After all, if it's not broke, don't fix it — right? This attitude may be what meets changing mindless speech habits to mindful speech habits. You might be thinking to yourself, "I'm not a mindless speaker" or "I don't think gossip and venting are bad" or "I don't have time to be mindful of what i'm saying", but the likelihood is that you sometimes engage in mindless speech (and it is not helpful).
Mindless speech can be characterized by impulsiveness, hostility, and lack of awareness, and is likely to create misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and a toxic environment. Whether it be a personal relationship, professional setting, or social interaction, careless words can have negative returns and long-lasting impacts.
A little mindless speech here and there might not have have damaging effects, but when mindless speech becomes normalized, it is likely to have detrimental effects on personal and professional relationships.
In a personal relationship, mindless speech is likely to erode trust, damage reputation, hinder connection, and in a professional relationship (such as a workplace), mindless speech is likely to reduce morale, hinder collaboration, decrease trust, create a toxic work environment, and inhibit growth and innovation. All of which will have a negative impact mental wellbeing.
How to Apply Right Speech in your Daily Life
Practice Active Listening: Focus on the speaker without formulating your response or waiting for your turn to speak.One option to practice active listening is to silently repeat the words that the speaker is saying, and then to repeat back to the speaker a short summary of what you heard to see if you heard correctly. This shows the speaker that you're listening.
Pause Before Speaking: Give yourself a moment to think about what you want to convey. There is no rule that says you have to instantaneously respond to someone speaking to you. Instead, pause and collect your thoughts so that you hold an awareness of what you are saying.
Use Supportive and Language: Choose words that uplift and empower rather than criticize or judge. Appreciative Inquiry can be very helpful in this space.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Encourage dialogue by asking questions that require more than a yes or no answer. (NOTE: Be careful when using the question 'why'. While 'why' can be part of an open-ended question, it can often come across as confrontational or judgmental, leading to defensive responses.)
Reflect Regularly: Spend a few moments reflecting on your conversations and identifying areas for growth.
Benefits of Right (mindful) Speech
In Leadership
Builds Trust: By communicating with empathy and clarity, leaders create a more transparent and trusting environment.
Enhances Team Collaboration: Mindful speech encourages open dialogue, fostering collaboration and creativity.
In Relationships
Deepens Connections: Being present and thoughtful in conversations leads to more meaningful relationships.
Reduces Conflict: Mindful communication minimizes misunderstandings, reducing potential conflicts.
In the Workplace
Promotes a Positive Culture: An atmosphere where employees communicate respectfully boosts morale and productivity.
Enhances Problem-Solving: Open and constructive communication encourages innovative thinking and effective problem-solving.
Onward to Welcoming Right Speech into Your Life
Do I expect every conversation that I have to be one of Right Speech? No. Do I expect every conversation that you have to be one of Right Speech? Absolutely not. But do I hope that we (I included) will aspire to bring Right Speech into our day to day communications and interactions so that we can engage on a more mindful and present connection? I most certainly do.
I know that in the fast paced world we live in mindful speech may seem like a luxury, but make no mistake: it is a necessity for building a compassionate and thriving community. Whether it be at home, in the workplace, or within our broader social circles, the practice of mindful speech invites authenticity, respect, and connection. By being inclusive and aware, we provide the fertile grounds where conversation heal, empower, and inspire.